Happy Friday the 13th! CK and I will spend tonight enjoying some messy BBQ from Red Bones and perhaps finally catching up on the large number of Sons of Anarchy episodes collecting dust on the TiVo. Friday the 13th is nice and all, but growing up I was obsessed with a little ridiculous movie called Saturday the 14th. Have you heard of it? I loved this movie. I watched it over and over again along with Dirty Dancing, Once Bitten, and Annie — what can I say…I was a weird kid…

It’s essentially a horror movie spoof of some of the more popular scary films pre-1980, but that was way over my head then. I just thought it was funny when a woman got eaten by a “fur coat” and a shark fin appeared in the bathtub.  At that time in my life I was convinced that there were monsters in the lake where our camp resided and that things would eat me if I didn’t close the closet door so you can probably see why I’d find a movie like this so near and dear to my heart.

If you can dig up an old VHS copy from someone’s basement or happen upon one in a really funky video store you should absolutely gobble it up and watch it immediately. Sure, it’s bizarre and very dated at this point but seeing Jeffrey Tambor vamp it up is absolutely fantastic and totally worth it.

After several years of vehemently resisting my friend Anna’s recommendation that World of Warcraft is a perfectly fun game I’ve finally succumbed to peer pressure. Admittedly, I was also highly influenced by Felicia Day’s hilarious part in The Guild’s “Do You Wanna Date My Avatar” video. So without further adieu please meet my lean, mean, slaying machine Rowyne. I’ve only been playing for two days but I have to admit I’m starting to really like it. Especially after I happened upon a cottage in the woods that housed a “Crazy Cat Lady” and dozens of kittens. I’m hoping that I can adopt a cat that follows me around or something. Is this possible? They were super expensive though so that will have to wait until I’ve pillaged a few oh thousand more unsuspecting Kobolds.

As much as I try to resist all things “geek” it seems that I inevitably give in completely to my inner nerd. For instance once upon a time I vowed to never watch any of the following shows that CK loved: Doctor Who, Battlestar Galactica, Burn Notice, and most recently The Big Bang Theory. But guess what? I ended up watching them all religiously. Amusingly enough my behavior towards each was characterized by a similar pattern of: scorn, ridicule, annoyance that CK was watching them, followed by looking up from my book or laptop every so often and ending with me becoming completely engrossed in the various plots. I guess I just have to admit it. I’m a great big super geek..but with social skills and better accessories of course. Now I’m going to go watch all of The Guild Episodes. My transformation is complete.

Don’t I look like the perfect housewife? Pearls and a martini: what better accessories can one possibly have? You can Mad Men Yourself too.

My mother has already started to send me emails asking what I want for my birthday. Usually I just say, “Oh whatever…” but this year I’m going to regress back to a time when I used to be the Queen of Wish Lists. The best way for me to illustrate this would be for me to have you think way back to a day in the Fall when we were all still watching shows like Family Ties and Jem and the Holograms and the mailman would deliver the gigantic Sears Wish Book. In some ways that day was more exciting than Christmas. I’ve heard tell that many families had to share the Wish Book and each child would circle what he or she wanted with a particular marker or crayon color but I was an only child and that coveted Wish Book was mine all mine.

And I didn’t just circle things I wanted. I made charts complete with quantity, description, size, item, and page number. Yes, I was a control freak even at 8 years of age. So just for old times sake I’m going to provide my family with this cute visual list of things that I would love to get for my quickly approaching 29th birthday. According to the calendar June 3rd is only 21 days away. Yikes! I can’t believe I’m only going to be in my twenties for one more year. How did this happen?! Oh well…on with the list:

1. I’m hoping to spend the evening of my birthday with a few close friends at Cuchi Cuchi.

2. I’ve wanted this French Bull Utensil Set for several years now and it’s almost always out of stock, but via some miracle it’s actually available right now. Obviously it would fit right in with my whole pink kitchen theme.

3. So I shrunk my blue Reading is Sexy shirt and can now only wear it as pajamas because it would be scandalous for me to be seen out in public with it on. I’d love to have the new pink ringer version though, preferably in extra large so that when I forget and dry it again it will still fit around me.

4. When I bought that Julia Child prayer candle a few weeks ago the owner of the Etsy shop assured me that she can make any kind of prayer candle that you want. So what I really really really want is a prayer candle with Ina Garten on it.

5. This write-on mug is just awesome. That is all.

6. I can’t make homemade strawberry jam or chicken stock if I don’t have a proper stock pot (in Caribbean please).

7. The new iPhone comes out in June. My iPhone is now two years old and is practically a Mac antique. This one is all CK. No worries Mom.

8. I’d like to read Michael Ruhlman’s new book Ratio so that I can hopefully start to figure out how to compose some of my own recipes.

9. Zombies. Need I say more?

10. I really need a mani/pedi. If someone were to get me a gift certificate that would be outstanding. I don’t care where I just need to go.

xoxo,
Erin

Author Sloane Crosley brought the The Oregon Trail game back to my attention after I read an essay from her book I Was Told There’d Be Cake. In the short story Sloane confesses to her childhood obsession with the The Oregon Trail computer game. She recounts naming characters after hated teachers and purposefully losing the game so that they would die of the dreaded Dysentery. While I don’t recall doing that in elementary school I will embarrassingly admit to locking Sims made to look like evil exes into rooms and “forgetting about them” until they turned into urns. Moving right along…

You’ve probably heard that an Oregon Trail iPhone app was released this week. I downloaded it last night and hilarity has ensued ever since. I took the liberty of naming my little pioneers after CK and myself. Tagging along with us through the great unknown are also our imaginary children: Lucy, Lola, and Little CK.

Not surprising, I’m just as much of a klutz in this iPhone app as I am in real life. During the first 5 minutes of play I got a broken arm.

My children are also prone to drama. Especially Lola. She’s been kidnapped by an eagle, lost on the trail, and currently is suffering from Dysentery. But what fun would a game of Oregon Trail be if someone didn’t end up with the runs…

Anyone want to take bets on which of my characters is going to kick the bucket first?

I decided to make an album on Flickr for my Oregon Trail Adventures. Feel free to follow along with my faithful path to doom and destruction.

Haven’t seen Coraline yet? Why are you waiting?! Grab some 3-D glasses and a king sized package of Junior Mints and get yourself to the theater immediately. In the meantime, maybe you’d like to see what your “other life” would look like? Pink buttons are lovely and all, but remember perfection comes at a cost. [Link via Abbey]

Since CK refuses to buy me a kitten my friend Hänni sent me this pretty pink poodle that grows in water. How awesome is that?! Stay tuned. Liz Lemon (that’s what I’ve decided to call the plastic pup) is growing by the minute.

Everyone has goals. My top-priority right now is to buy the entire Princess Set of furniture at Gracie Grace. This is going to involve a lot of fishing and fruit picking, but I think I …. I mean my little pink character… deserves this Marie Antoinette inspired bedroom set.

When I first heard that a prequel to Anne of Green Gables was being published I was absolutely disgusted. It seemed that nothing was sacred anymore. Big business appeared primed to dictate the ruin of one of my most cherished childhood literary memories. I couldn’t comprehend how anyone would possibly think that they should infringe upon such a perfectly crafted story. Not to mention, did I really want to know in-depth details about the downtrodden and tragic days of Anne’s life before she came to Green Gables?

But believe it or not I was wrong and I’m terribly shocked about the whole thing. Before Green Gables is simply excellent. The writing is phenomenal. The story timeline has been meticulously researched, and the characters are well rounded. Each and every new person that comes across Anne’s path fits seamlessly into the tale just as though Lucy Maud Montgomery might have imagined it herself.

I loved learning how Anne developed her quirky vocabulary, including the inception of the phrase “depths of despair” and how she determined that it was her most ardent desire in life to have a “bosom friend.” The portrait of Anne’s kind parents at the beginning of the book is simply heartbreaking, but is balanced well by the few well-meaning souls who recognize in Anne a “kindred spirit” and thankfully take an interest in her education and upbringing.

Anne’s life prior to moving to Prince Edward Island does unfortunately resemble a 10 year indentured servitude to the Gosselin family. She’s constantly cutting vegetables, carrying dozens of buckets of water, and looking after an unbelievable number of very young children, but somehow she continuously maintains a bright and cheerful attitude.

Perhaps the most intriguing part of the story is Budge Wilson’s ability to humanize both the Thomas family as well as the Hammond’s. Most of my poor opinion of the Hammond’s is drawn from the 90 seconds that we view their out of control household in the film version, but just like in real life there are always extenuating circumstances that make people behave the way they do. Wilson explores the nuances of each of these struggling families and makes it impossible to simply brand them as villains. Because of this even drunken and abusive Mr. Thomas comes off as being a redeemable character.

Anne Shirley is a charming child who has bewitched readers for years, and this well grounded tale of her past truly only serves to enhance the Green Gables experience. I encourage you to pick it up and reminisce. Personally, I hope to revisit the entire Anne series this year.

My love for the movie Kissing Jessica Stein is well known. I think Jennifer Westfeldt is a great comic actress. I truly love the neurosis of all her characters, not to mention that she has fabulous hair. It’s been recently brought to my attention that she’s the longtime girlfriend of actor Jon Hamm, or as you might know him, Don Draper on Mad Men. I’d hate her, but I just can’t.

One of Westfeldt’s co-stars in KJS is Scott Cohen. You may remember him as Max Medina, Lorelai’s ex-fiance on Gilmore Girls. Cohen also starred in a little made for TV mini-series called The Tenth Kingdom. He played the big bad wolf and I kind of had the hots for him in this role. Well look who moved into Gherkins last week?! A creepy wolf! I hope he doesn’t eat any of the villagers. On second thought, maybe he could eat Victoria with a side of Opal. They’re both pretty annoying.