Author Sloane Crosley brought the The Oregon Trail game back to my attention after I read an essay from her book I Was Told There’d Be Cake. In the short story Sloane confesses to her childhood obsession with the The Oregon Trail computer game. She recounts naming characters after hated teachers and purposefully losing the game so that they would die of the dreaded Dysentery. While I don’t recall doing that in elementary school I will embarrassingly admit to locking Sims made to look like evil exes into rooms and “forgetting about them” until they turned into urns. Moving right along…

You’ve probably heard that an Oregon Trail iPhone app was released this week. I downloaded it last night and hilarity has ensued ever since. I took the liberty of naming my little pioneers after CK and myself. Tagging along with us through the great unknown are also our imaginary children: Lucy, Lola, and Little CK.

Not surprising, I’m just as much of a klutz in this iPhone app as I am in real life. During the first 5 minutes of play I got a broken arm.

My children are also prone to drama. Especially Lola. She’s been kidnapped by an eagle, lost on the trail, and currently is suffering from Dysentery. But what fun would a game of Oregon Trail be if someone didn’t end up with the runs…

Anyone want to take bets on which of my characters is going to kick the bucket first?

I decided to make an album on Flickr for my Oregon Trail Adventures. Feel free to follow along with my faithful path to doom and destruction.

This is the commercial that gets me completely teary and causes various “awe-like” sounds to repeatedly come out of my mouth lately. Each time it airs during a television show I instantly stop fast-forwarding and watch it. It’s my dream puppy complete with a “please buy me Erin!” face that I just can’t resist, in a candy pink room, with a girl in cozy pajamas that is so “obviously” me. Let’s be friends puppy! Call me!